I've been sunburnt. Great.

xx

I miss you!

Hello, I miss you. I know we were never that close compared to everyone else, but I miss you. I miss having a big sister, like seriously. People used to say we were sisters, people used to say I look like you. Tall, and similar features; I really felt like your sister. We talk alot, though only when you're not distracted by everyone else. I understand you have a much more fascinating life than me, oh well, I miss you :)

Hello, I miss you. I miss going riding with you. I miss telling you everything about my wonkey unfortunately hilarious life. I miss eating choki-choki with you in your room and terrorising your doof bag. I miss watching entertaining movies with you and anticipating every typical cheesy hollywood line. I miss following you everywhere because I was left all alone. I miss riding with you, I miss talking to you. I miss cheering you up all the time and entertaining you by being myself. You're distant now, what happened? Detachment is pretty weird, you somehow made me feel loved. Oh well, I miss you.

Hello, I miss you. I miss your reaaallly irritating personality that is SO damn bi-polar and everyone has to listen to YOU all the time. Freaking gila. But I miss it! I miss you, walking to your house from school and your mom being so nice to me and the time I followed you to NTUC to get your groceries. I miss you talking about N and every other guy you fell madly in like with. I miss talking to you bout rubbish and being your "boyfriend" Oh well, I miss you.

Hello, I miss you. I miss you're no emotion-ness. I miss your ability to laugh at my tripping over an OBVIOUS metal bar. I miss your support for gay people. You're so hard to please, yet I manage to make your smile all the time at my very lame and failed jokes. I miss telling you about my life and not agreeing with your advice. I miss going crazy while you think i'm an utter moron. Oh well, I miss you.

Hello, I miss you. I miss hanging out after school with you. I was happy there, unlike now, I guess because of you. I felt like someone needed me, and I needed them. I miss having you around to talk about life and friendship and about our cruise. I miss having my support and giving you yours. I miss bumping into random people when we're out. Oh well, I miss you.

Hello, I miss all these people above, and more.

My head is spinning, I need to eat, yet I feel fat!

Christmas party was FUN. 

Liyana and gang have gone up to Genting,

WITHOUT ME. grr.

Bracers off tomorrow morning. YAY!

I'll be in Johor soon loves,

xx

Edit./

Imissyou! The guy I thought you were. Its very disappointing. I may not have thought romantically of you, but hell, you were like my best friend. You were there when I needed you most and I thank you for that. But the worst part of it all is that when I was happy, you didn't let me share it with you. I miss talking to you on the phone about your life and my life, and you being high, and hanging out, and everything. You were SUPER FUN to be with, and its really sad that you just cut off contact with me. The fact that you had feelings for me didn't change the fact that I liked you as a friend, but obviously you wanted more right? Why couldn't we just be friends, thats all I wanted to be. Hell, I'm not even sure about where I am now. Sorry dude, but whatever. Oh well, I just freaking miss you.

Cover Ideas :)

Hello nonexistant readers! :D

Today is the day before I go to JB, hence I want to figure out what song to cover with MAEthePEA :D SOoOoOOOooOoOOOooO (that was soo cool!) these are the song choices :D

3 cheers for 5 years :) - Mayday Parade

Saltwater room :) - Owl City

Broken Strings - James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado

OR

Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship feat. Leighton Meester.

Help help :D

I bet Mae is gonna be like " I THOUGHT WE DOING 3 CHEERS FOR 5 YEARS!" :O HAHA I AM DEAD.

Oh, spammer, I want you're opinion this time too okay :D Love you,

xx

:D

Christmas is here, Christmas is here.

But I didn't eat turkey, no eggnog, NOTHING. :(

Opened all my presents, shoes galore. ;D

yay,

xx

I LOVE YOU MAE.

✰[u]мaeurιқa[/u] {brb} says: (5:33:19 PM)

peter pan is reall!!!

✰[u]мaeurιқa[/u] {brb} says: (5:33:21 PM)

HAHAHHA

Alicia | Christmas ? ): says: (5:33:29 PM)

HAhSHHAHHA HOW YOU KNOW?!

Alicia | Christmas ? ): says: (5:33:35 PM)

he visited you in the toilet?

Alicia | Christmas ? ): says: (5:33:39 PM)

*wiggles eyebrows*

✰[u]мaeurιқa[/u] {brb} says: (5:33:41 PM)

HAHAHAHA

Alicia | Christmas ? ): says: (5:33:42 PM)

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHA

✰[u]мaeurιқa[/u] {brb} says: (5:33:48 PM)

NO NO NO

✰[u]мaeurιқa[/u] {brb} says: (5:33:51 PM)

IT WAS LAST NIGHT

✰[u]мaeurιқa[/u] {brb} says: (5:33:55 PM)

.^^

✰[u]мaeurιқa[/u] {brb} says: (5:33:59 PM)

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Think dirty, and you'll get the joke :D. Ilovethisgirl!

xx

Rock that body, come on come on.

Hello my blog readers! :D

Today is the PMR results thingy. Oh joy :) I hope all my 23093485708194 friends did well :D haaahaaa =.= I prayed (lie) that you guys are happy with your results. Seriously, if you didn't do as well as you wanted, but gave it your all, don't despair. Think of it as karma, and go do something nice to pick the mood up. Who knows, PMR isn't the end of the world!

I have homework to do! OH POO. :( I had like 2 weeks to finish it, and now I only have 3 hours. How sad, how depressive. Oh well, chop chop.

As Bal said, I can not stay still; henceforth the tiny depression period of 2 days. BAHA. Life's to short to be sulking over other people's problems, even if they are close to you. So I shall say, SMILEEEE, go do something stupid and wild and never regret it. Live fast, die hard.

Brain Pain, I need my subwoofers and speakers. NOW NOW NOW NOW :( Its not nice to listen to dance music on my Mac. URGH. Someone, anyone, get me a christmas pressie! I wanna open it at midnight. :D Oh, another issue, should I ride tomorrow?

The other day, Talya and I were talking about going on a road trip/backpacking around Europe. :D I'm still excited about it, though the possibility of that happening is like 0. HAHA. But who knows, open up my mind bayybeh. I wanna learn languages :D Spanish, French, maybe even Italian! Oh, and improving my German is a must. I want 4 seasons. I wanna live somewhere interesting. But doesn't everyone?

Am still pretty GAGA over the Aldo dude, woooh. Hotness. But lord knows, I think dating someone who's more than 4 years when your below 18 is a little bit too risky. I think the gang knows that I'm very sure of what "legal" boys are capable of. :( Oh wellies, I miss my bestfriend, I need to bitch. Haih, life is so uneventful;

My Christmas is boring. And very dull. Haih, I need some snow. Does anyone have a snow machine? My Christmas tree is overdecorated, yet dull. The presents are overflowing, yet I feel no meaning to this. I don't CELEBRATE celebrate it, but Oma's been encouraging us to do it every year. What's happening? :( 

I have tuition in 2 hours. I need to finish my homework. HAIH. Depressive. Its Christmas eve, where is the spirit of it? Bottom line, I don't wanna have tuition. Anyone have Mr Sanchu's number?

Photoshoot with Liyana the other day. And I'll have to do with Zuzu too =.= Anymore portfolio updates and I will shoot them. Maybe I should get paid to pose. HAAHAA! omg, perfect job :D Lets go model, shall we?

xx

I just want to die.

depression |diˈpre sh ən|

noun

1 severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over a period of timeand accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.
Lord, save me.
My eyes hurt, my head is spinning. But I got 10 hours of sleep. What more should I do?
xx

Forget me, please.

Touchwood* everyfuckingthing is gonna be alright.

Hey, you, are you happy now since I am depressed and full of hatred?

Hey, you, are you pleased to see how screwed up I'm turning out to be?

Hey, you, happy to see that what you said about my parents is coming true?

Hey, you, are you filled with joy to see my riding, no my LIFE go down the drain?

Hey, you, I bet you're smug that you're some lucky kid who gets whatever, right?

Hey, fuck you, fuck you very very much.

Annoying past coming back to haunt me, words that have been said, starting to hit me, hard. Haih, don't you ever wish you could just shut it all out? please,

I  played paintball today with my riding friends. Moe was Moe-bo, instead of Rambo. ha ha, I wish I could laugh like I did this morning. Got bruised, but had fun.

IZRY, I'll miss you lots. Who am I gonna gossip with? :(

Everyone is leaving me, as I have left my friends in JB. Is it karma? Because I really would and still want to avoid it if I could. Oh lord,

Things are slowly falling apart. I can feel it, slowly crumbling beneath me. I don't wanna see what I'll fall into, because I like where I was standing few months ago, which was here.

Right here, nowhere else. haih,

xx

Biceps baybehhh!

Went rock climbing yesterday. How exciting :) The last time I climbed was in New Zeland. :') I miss that place. I swear, i could and still can feel my biceps and leg muscles throbbing, wooh. I'm gonna be fit and skinny. =.= ell oh ell okay. 

I want to model in New York. Random much. Screw hollywood, NY is the city culture I need man. Bahaha, or maybe I'm just jealous of Miss Hanna Sophia who is there like RIGHT NOW. And will be there through Christmas. Grr Rawr Woof. :(

Riding today was TERRIBLE. I need money. Now now now now now! :( Lessons for jumping and Dressage are critically needed. I is going down ze drain. OH LORD SAVE ME NOW. :( Bad habits are being picked up, and I don't know how to advance higher because idk the movement aids. Oh wellies, lets hope pure skill, natural talent and hard core self practice will get a gold for Wilayah in SUKMA. pray pray.

Once again, I need to party. Life is absolutely dull and I wish to be nonchalant about it, but no. I am very very bothered by my 0 happening life. haih, lets go back to JB, party, go out, create havoc, and screw up. PMR is next year and I wanna party my ass off right now. I'm looking forward to 1st of January. For some weird reason :)

xx

Ficken Sie die Welt :)

I'm somehow touched by this song; I feel like its my impact on a few people

*OMFG TAK TAHU MALU SIAAA =.= *

I couldn't sleep last night

I walked alone 

On the beach 

Where we always used to go 

When we couldn't hook up at home

I thought of you 

And the time we jumped the fence

Both sides ripped down 

We dove right in

And the cops chased us again

When you were mine

You know

We had it all in front of us

You were the one

I was in love

But you always hurt 

the one you lost

I couldn't get enough

You were everything

That's bad for me

Make no apologies

I'm crushed...

Black and blue

But you know 

I'd do it all again for you

Today, dressed up 

In designer drugs

Dedicated to the one 

I'll always love

The one who really messed me up

I let you take the wheel

And the driver's seat

Strapped in 

So you get the best of me

Now what's left are the memories

When you were mine

You know

We had it all in front of us

You were the one

I was in love

But you always hurt 

The one you lost

I couldn't get enough

You were everything

That's bad for me

Make no apologies

I'm crushed...

Black and blue

But you know 

I'd do it all again for you

I am standing in the ocean rain

Rough and ready

For your deadly game

I've got nowhere else to go

We had it all in front of us

You were the one

I was in love

But you always hurt 

The one you lost

I couldn't get enough

You were everything

That's bad for me

Make no apologies

I'm crushed...

Black and blue

But you know 

I'd do it all again for you

(You know I'd do it all again for you) 

(I swear I'd do it all again for you)

You like? :D 

All again for you - We the kings.

back to the normal, Mae, Roa, Adam and I had the most interesting conversation of my life. HAHA Quote of the day;

"what do you do when you're bestfriend's boyfriend thinks your boyfriend is hot?" - M.U.T.C.Y

And Alicia's response is :

"BAHAHAHAHAhAhAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHHHAHHAAAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA OMFG WTF ADAM YOU'RE SO GAY. BAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA"

And Adams response is :

"I'd like to get Aaron under a mistletoe with me *wiggles eyebrows*"

And Aarons response is :

"Hooo' Yeah,"

Girlfriends, keep your boyfriends away from mine. I will not be responsible for stolen boys. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Really, I love these people :D Maybe not Adam, bt Roa and Mae are amazing. Heart heart.

Haih! Survived tuition just now. I wanna I wanna sleep now! But can't, but actually I can, I think? =.= I hate how I have the 'ultimate heartbreak' playlist among the gang. Like, last night, Roa and Mae's iTunes played love songs all night, and mine was all about heartbreak and "looking for love" kinda crap. Yes, it is very worrying I don't have music to express my L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-LIKE for my BOYFRIEND :D whoo~ Well, not really.

I'm contemplating going to SPADE. You know that cheezy party in Shah Alam, I have a feeling everyone got like invites but oh well, Nik is going so idk if i wanna ikut! I want to drag BazelNut, but I also wanna drag a huge-ass group of people with me. How sad, I can't book flights for my JB lovelies :( Blehhhh. See how, see how. I is SINFUL (inside joke :D)

I just realized that I haven't taken my books out from my locker. :O Oh deary meee! :(

fuck you, fuck you very very much!

:D I miss the spammers! Being just loved isn't enough.

I need more hate in my life. BAHAHAHA =.=

okay Alicia, be careful; what you wish might come true :O

xx

Giant & Esthers!

This is the kinda havoc we created in Esthers room. Bahaha!

Clearly, I had alot of fun, and blogging about it would kinda be an understatement, btu never the less I shall!

So, On Tuesday Jasmine invited a few of us for lunch, we went to the Highway Sedap Corner, and it was utterly terrible. I'm joking! I loved it :) I took soo many pictures, it was not funny. Mindy had to meals and Kangkung =.= And the bill was like RM100. It was RM9 worth of tax okay! Jeesh. But besides that, Jasmine pissed off the waiter, bahahaha! And it took us like 20 mins to figure out the bill. Ohhh gosh, I love those people.

Esther, Vithya, Pea and I decided to drop by Convent. I swear it is TERRIBLE now. WHY THE BOG IS IT FREAKING PINK?! :( Our cemented dirty floors are gone, its tiled, and PINK. PINK FOR GODS SAKE :O We came a little bit too late, bonda and all the HEM's had left oh well :( OH OH OH OH! The writings on the walls were still there. How, refreshing ;D

Anyways, the next day Pea and I decided to go back to try and meet bonda, and as ususal, the office lady told me off for wearing shorts. I was like err, okay? Hehehe! I bet they were heartbroken that their attempts at forcing the tudung on me just made me worse. ell oh ell :D

Went bowling with the rest of the gang, this day consisting with mostly guys. Mae, Esther, Jiew Ann and I were the only girls! Mae's dad turned up and told her to behave herself. Sorry pea, but that made me wanna laugh! Roa was like the ULTIMATE. The number of strikes he got, we must have been the noisiest lanes. Teehee, I have never been happier!

We decided to try out some of the "333 ways to get kicked out of Walmart" in Giant. HAHA, I managed to follow a lady till she checked out. It was so funny. I bet she knew, but Mae and Roa were following me, and it was utterly HILARIOUS.

"Eh where's the Thousand Island sauce?! How to do barbeque like this?" - Mae

=.= I think the lady was annoyed. OH WELL. The security was already sending Giant staff to make sure we don't cause trouble. But Terence was catwalking down the Isles, and we made a train and cha-cha-ed all over Giant. Best. Day. EVER. I feel like an MLIA.

We went to Esthers house, and even more havoc was created. Now, Esther has a daughter named Natalie and her dad is Tiger Woods. BAHAHA. You guys are so terrible. We played some weird game that involved hand smacking and screaming. Chai and Isaac danced to smooth criminal, the amount of ass shaking and crotch grabbing was way too much but very very funny. Isaac and Chai walked around in high heels! HAHA, such entertainment :)

MAE AND I WILL DO A COVER VERY VERY VERY VERY SOON. hahaha ;D

pictures on Facebook, I love you nonexsistant readers :D

xx

Outings.

Sorry to all non-exsistant readers for not updating my blog. Teehee! I have been very busy back here in JB! Woooh, tiring.

LIFE IS HARD, LIFE IS BLEAK. I WISH I COULD PLANT A KISS ON YOUR CHEEK. imissmydonkey :(

I arrived in JB 33 minutes pass 7. My reservation was at 7.30 LOL. Felt good to see everyone again :D No pictures were taken because we shisha-ed. So yeah, keeping things pretty safe :D Roa was purely addicted and Isaac got high ;( I am such a bad influence. You guys should NOT hang out with me anymore. LOL Seriously, what Vithya said is utterly true, I really do not fail to corrupt anyone ;D

After that we went to Danga Bay. woooh! that place is so weird and boring. Its like the One Utama of JB but much smaller and there is nothing to do there. Okay, clearly it is not the one utama of JB, its just a place for all the mats and minahs to hang out at night. HA. It was so scary okay! From Singgah Selalu to Danga Bay we have to cross a road, no HIGHWAY.  So obviously I was screaming and shouting. Roa almost got hit by a car. Bloody psycho. Grr. Then later I was cat called. EEEEEEE. Yvonne and I were like running from here to there to get the brownies. HAHA.

Mae came over after. We had a photoshooot. Whooo! Mae Pea in a photoshoot was utterly hilarous! bahaha.  I coaxed her with all my skill. BAHAHA. Anyways we were up from Midnight till like 3 Oh wellies ;D I love my peaaa :D And she was forced to stay over. Muahahahaha!

I stayed in the whole day the next day and did my bracers. Teehee, how fun :F They're coming off on the 28th, how exciting, yet depressing, My gosh!  Can not wait!

Meh, will continue blogging tomorrow. Adam's calling ;D

xx

Hair.

Hello people.

I am going to leave to the hairdresser to do something to my hair.

Chop it all off or get it dyed something wild like neon green/electric blue?

oh well :)

bye :D

xx

New Moon, soo stupid.

Why was she ALWAYS this close or even closer to him almost all the time?

Seriously, Bella doesn't HAVE to stand like 2cm away from Taylor just to;

1) feel his freaking yummy abs

2) talk to him in the freeeaking truck

3) diss him.

I stress the third one. Because, IF YOU WANNA DISS SOMEONE DON"T BE ROMANTIC LAH HELLLLOOOOO =.= gah!

Frustration vented.

Other than that, new moon was the stupidest movie ever. The cheezieness level is so high I was laughing/screaming/squealing/pony-squeaking the whole way. I pity Christine and Alia as I had destroyed their hands. BAHAHA. Effie must be thankful I didn't sit next to her. LOL. Nevertheless, and I'm freaking sure everyone agrees with me;

Jacob Black/ Taylor Lautner's body is THE SEX. wooh 

*melts*

I always knew sharkboy had a sex god in him. wooh!

Getting my HON books back tomorrow. Yay :) I need PROPER vampire books. The Twilight saga is worse than Dracula. Teehee! I hope they make a movie of HON, its gonna be amae-zing. Though they wont be able to film the sex scene, because it would be like R rated then, but they can't cut it out either, maybe they'll like make it HIGH affection&bloodlust! , like him imprinting Zoey, then the tie with Heath gets broken and she tells him everything. Oooh! the thrill. Well, if only it turns into a movie. It'll be a freaking good oneeee!

My riding has been improooving. :D We plan to jump maybe on Sunday morning! Teehee. The joint up with Rob was amazing! :) Oh well, hope the universe starts going in the direction I want it to this time round. SUKMA is in 7 months, I'm coachless, and Baldi can't leg yield for nuts. Holy crap. Lets maintain our 65% avg and we will do fine. Pray pray.

Good news has arrived, or maybe not. Lets hope this relationship would work out. 

xx

Law of Attraction; If you believe something will happen, eventually it will :)

I wish ebuddy could save conversationss!!

Nis thinks I'm Lesbian.

Vithya knows that I haven't failed to corrupt anyone if  I put my mind to it.

HAHA. I love my bestfriends.

xx

ZE OUTING. well, DINNER.

BAHAHAHHA. I loveee my title. Teeheee! Clearly, I have an outing/dinner with them JB lovelies. As per usual, I'm trusting Haren with the boys and all the girls with the girls. HAH! This week is stupidly busier than planned. I can't even meet up with Hanna at this rate! :(

I is mooooving to Section 16. Daddy wants to send me to Asuntha. Or CBN or something. Apparently he's sick of cempaka too. BAHAHHA. Like father like daughterr. Anyways. Fingers crossed I get into Sri Hartamas. Closer to Bukit Kiara, hope to scoot there after school. Ah hell, PMR year. I need a resolution!

Okay! I am dramatically bored. Hah, contradiction. Paradox is something I've learnt to live with.  Stupid universe. I have to shower soon, family going to visit Aunty in hospital. I'm gonna see an old childhood friend. How nice, no?

" I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, but never have I claimed to be civilised"

Familiar?

More important stuff for them JB loves;

Place ; Singgah Selalu.

Time ; 8pm

Dress Code ; mamak. HAHA

RSVP ; 0127232200 

Love ya'll.

...sorry to disappoint, but no boys today...

xx

Not your fault :)

Last night, I realized I'd rather not know. And last night, as much as I like CARE about you and want to be yours with you, I didn't want to know or have anything to do with your feelings towards me or anyone else. 

whatthebogiswrongwithme? -.-

This is confusing. I hate being in loveLIKE. (according to nis :) ) Apparently I am pathetic when enchanted. Well, I can see that now. My dependancy level went up. And that sucks :( I should re-think being with someone, no?

Tuition was canceled today, how nice :) I spent the whole day faffing around and playing video games with ze bruzas :D 

The word "love" disgusts me currently. I feel like hurling out everything I ate for lunch. Urgh. 

WHY DO I CARE =.=

Meh. Get over this Alicia, you're stronger than that.

NEWS FOR JB PEOPLEEEEE :

on Sunday! which is eerr, the 6th! Lets meet up for dinner. I was thinking TGI but if you have anymore ideas of places we can go and eat where it is CHEAP. bahaha, or not ;P Invite yourselves. Will mention when and where, when i know :D

oh, I'm back into my inspired mode, which to those who know me obviously mean I'm depressed beyond help of my LSF :( how nice.

...boy, i don't know what to do with you...

xx

No hope.

My wonderful camera USB has decided to lose itself. How nice, and I haven't blogged for a week or so trying to find a cable. How pathetic. I've given up and will go buy one sooner or later, till then, anyone have a USB for this model? ;

I only have pictures from TGI Fridays, and I'm only uploading some because, well, I've trouble downloading the rest from Isaac. But nevertheless, this will feed all of my non-existant/imaginary readers till I find a cable i hope.

Sweetest picture of the night. M.U.T.C.Y (BAHAHA) don't kill me :P

Isaac, Joyce, Mindy, Roa, Mae.

Awww :) My granddaughter & my grandson-in-law? 

(inside joke okay)

the 10yearold-actually 13yearold boy isaac :D

Black, white, grey :) Mae wore a dress for me.

Roa loves me for that. TEEHEE.

The fact that everyone was going down to KL or in KL while I was in JB finally made me realize we need to plan next time. Our BRCC days of "last-min-fun" has died. :(

I'll continue blogging some other day about Singapore and Nis and everything. My fucking excuse of a dad and bitch of a mom aren't making my day.

...I guess you really do mean alot to me...

xx

Can't stand it.

Johor Bahru!

I'm HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME!!!

whooo~

Its just that no one makes me feel this way.

Holidays started. Holy mommah I've never felt so happy. Despite that, I'm only leaving for JB tonight. Dad has some day-forum thingy at work. Grr, this sucks. To add to that, I'm at grandma's house. Where there is really little water =.= Guess what I ate for dinner yesterday. Toast and scrambled eggs. BAHA. Oh well :) Its pretty German I guess.

My cousin and I went out to shisha yesterday. Excuse used :

 

"Oma I feel like eating rice tonight so Liyana and I will be going to the mamak stall :D"

HAHA :D I feel so mean. Oh well :) Off to Safa, teehee! I was reminded of seeing Adib there. Oh gees, so obviously and naturally I asked if he wanted to join. No reply =.= Fine. But, someone just HAD to call, and him and his buddy just HAD to join. HAHA I felt like laughing. Anyways, they got high, after like 30 mins? Heeee! I wasn't feeling a thing. Oh well, this just further proves that women are better than men. AHAHA.

Vivaldi is lame. Daddy just got back from JB, and I'm leaving tonight. :( Poor baby. I don't know what to do! And CIS prom is on Friday. I don't know what to do! 

I need cuticle oil :( bleh. He ran out of credit, and I will too, very soon. I have realized how empty I feel. Or maybe I just think I feel empty when I'm whole and I'll be looking for something that doesn't exist because well, its already with me, no? The first wave of SPM is over, about 2 more waves to go. My excitement level has heightened by a mile. This coming week will be interesting/fun/good. I'm sure of it.

"Love is for the weak." "Its okay to be weak, because I'm here to protect you"

... somehow, he makes me feel whole...

xx

I made you crack. Too simple.

"Its different when you do it on purpose, or when they just can't accept they aren't perfect. And then look who's calling who insecure"-A.

I think, I think my mom is hilarious. Not the MLIA type of hilarious. I think the kinda she's-going-into-menopause kinda hilarious. She's shouting at me at 7.30 am trying to get me to hurry up for school. Like, HELLO WE LIVE LIKE 10 MINS AWAY =.= grr.

Just had class party. Was pretty entertaining. Where's my BazelNut :( haih, school is depressing, school is pretty bleak. Honestly. Can't wait for holidays. I can't stand another Mr Alvin class, though I always escape. teehee. :D Am most probably skipping report card day, only to visit my dearest home, 300km away, maybe 400 km on Monday ;D. Think about it, 1 more day, then I'm off to JB. Ecstasy is what I'm feeling.

Honestly, I feel so emptayy! I have this feeling of routine in life, and knowing me it pretty sucks. I also think that people are empty too. Allie told me that family has history of depression/mass-histeria. WHOA. Isn't it scary, when you feel like you're so empty when life is actually whole? Or is it....?

"I've had the rest of you, now I want the best of you."- or is it too much to ask?

SPM started today. Here I am thinking about twinnie, and how she's doing. I'm also wondering about my Singapore friends who're took their O's. I'm feeling guilty that I'm detached from the dates of O levels. I didn't wish Laling, Hykal, Kipas, Syaaaaaafiq and even the loser syafiq who broke my heart and everyone else good luck. And now its over, and they're waiting for their results. 

Then there are my classmates, schoolfriends. I'm going back there in 4 days. I'm reaaaaally excited. On monday morning, I'm gonna get on a bus at 8 and be there at 8.30-9.30. GAH EXCITEMENT.

I AM STUCK WITH SHINYICHONG WATCHING GLEE. HAHAH. will continue blogging later.

... and now we can't talk till he's done with SPM...

xx

MLIA-ing

Today, was boring. Today, was bleak. Last night, made me wanna cry.

THANKS FOR THE PICTURES! 

You know what, I love my macbook for some crazy reason. Its like out of the blue. TeeHee, can't wait to get my iLife 09'. I also can't wait till Friday. Its 2 days away. TWO, DUA, ER, NALA (?) and Class Outing is like, 6 days away. 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6!!!!! whooaaa :D

Today had another photography session. My Baldi is demented. Everyone at Bukit Kiara enjoyed the pictures. Haha, when they're up on Facebook, I'll have alot of tagging to do :P

Oh, I find it PATHETIC the way people just SAY stuff to sound cool/ignorant/indifferent. Please okay. I notice all this, it just that I don't really DO anything about it. losers.

I hear MJ's THIS IS IT on tv. Oh mommy =.=

...i thought everything was fine...

xx

But I can't tell you what I don't know,

I hate DRAMA. Especially when its so NOT needed. Honestly. BAH

Why is it people like me and Shazia always get picked on. Nyehh.

Nothing happened today, it was just very bleak. HAHA Though today was the first time I went for tuition in a long time. So yeahh.

...he cares, like seriously...

xx

PONTENG. HA!

Hello, 

did you know some people have PRIDE ?

and did you know some people just don't like us?

and did you know we have to accept that?

did you know PRIDE makes everything harder?

yes, yes, yes, and yes. rawr.

I am in BED. I am TIRED. I am still HALF ASLEEP. nyaaaaha! :D I wish holidays started on Friday. 3 more days of grusome school. Teeeheee! Skipping report card day. No. 52, Jalan Suria Muafakat 2, Taman Suria Muafakat. Here I come! Omg, The last time I was in JB was when? :O

Okay, I'll continue my long life story tonight, people piling up on MSN.

Lil One is FINALLY talking to me like after forever okay. haha!

... the two of us can just go on and on....

xx

Odd 2 Even

OH MY GOD I JUST FIGURED OUT SOMETHING REALLY POINTLESS! ha =.=

Bare with me okay;

3 Days till ... ( i'd rather not say okay! >.<)

5 Days till ... JB! JB! JB! oh, its report card day too, but whatever.

8 Days till ... Singers!!

and and and! 8+3 = 11. 

AND!

 11-5 = 6.

teeheee!!

I bet I've told a thousand people already, but AGAIN! ;

6.6.1995.

(1+9)+(9+5)

=10+14

=24

2+4

=6

6.6.6. :D

I am now thanking the superstition for "devils day" 6 is a really cool number :D

oh well, will now start on my book. Good news for Eda. HAHA. You'll have the books in 3 days.

... right, so i think he's sweet...

xx

I've had the rest of you, now I want the best of you.

"I'm not saying I'm the best, or even better than you. I just know that I can do so much better than where I am now, and its not my fault that I know my best would beat you to the ground. Its just freaking natural, bitch" - A.

wow, confidence spur much.

I find it stupid when people iconize people like Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, etc. and quote them like a freaking worshipper, yet, they only uphold that "confidence" without the class, grace, mannerisms and extras. Then they just come off as fucking bitchy. Oh well, let people do as they please!

Bukit Kiara show is OVER. WHOO! Imagine if I did this every weekend. No longer would I have the pleasure of waking up at 9 :( Well, not that I wake up at 9 anyways. Everyday, without fail, I would be awake before 7.45. Seriously, even on weekends. I love my horses for that.

Prelim 1A = 10th place (57 %)  (please, don't laugh. and yes. My "bestfriend" beat me.)

Yet, I will listen to Cheyenne and be happy for her, as that 61% will be the best test she will ever do in her life. Bitch alert!

Novice 2A = 4th place (58.something %)

Prelim 1B = 2nd place (67.6%)

Novice 2B = 4th place (58.8%)

Prelim 1C = 5th place (63.64%)

Novice 2C = 2nd place (61.56%)

Am not happy with any of my tests. Not even prelim 1B, I could have done a mile better. grr

Weekend shows are fun :) Tiring, but very very fun. Stressful to an extent too, but oh well. Fun comes with some kinda loss right? Oh, my 70-80 jumping was amaeeezing. LOL He spooked like a bitch so I was too tense in the arena anyways to get a clear round. OH WELL.

I have 7 new books. Yes, 7. And 4 of them are like 800 pages. HA HA HA. Am stocking up for my lonely holidays. :( At this time of the year, I would be with my friends in JB making very stupid videos every day. Or at least I would be with seeing someone and we'd be meeting up. Or whatever. This year, everything changed. Gah.

oh, bytheway. There's this boy...

xx

WHOA

INSECURITIES.

my god.

shaz knows what I'm talking about.

Oh well :)

xx

Wake Up.

Oh well! I have the flu. :( Need to study my tests for later. Meh, Curse of Friday the 13th. HAHA =.= Byebye championships lah I guess. Then again, I shall see how Baldipoo feels. 

Am obviously not feeling my best today. Slept at 9 yesterday and just woke up few mins ago. Hallelujah for Berocca. I think things are getting to me. Thank god for Alia. 

Yes, my ego/pride is getting the better of me. And yes what MGY said is truee! Oh the joy of going back home. 

Primary concert yesterday was pure pain okay, Aisya and I walked to 711 in the rain. I've the flu because of that. NGEH =.= But I'm pretty sure Mrs. Maha, Hazel and Aisya are all happy we've ended. The.Kids.Can.Kill. GAH.

I need to go get the passport sized pictures now. I also need to figure out my competition stuff later. Bleh, really.

I'm SO lucky I don't have groupies.

10 mothafing days more.

xx

I HAVE THE FLUUU :O

EXHAUSTED.

Riding

Primary Rehersal

711 in the rain

Primary Concert.

Motherf.

11daysmorehallelujah.

damnit,imcrushingonyou!

xx

Sore, Cough, Sneeze. DAMN IT.

Have caught the FLU. :( This mothereffing S U C K S. Will ride the sniffles away tomorrow morning. Jump the virus away!! Ngeh.

xx

"Don't talk to her! She's a bitch!" "I'll just leave!" "Oh shit no, come back. I miss you" - sound familliarrr?? :D

12 12 12 12 12 12!!! Ho yeeeaaahh :D

Yay, today was another A-MAE-ZING™ day :D Helped the cute widdle pwimawy kids with their dance again, spent the whole day, yes it included Mr. Alvin's lesson, in the community hall. Iskandar scared the bejeepers out of me. Hope he does it to the audience :D Yet, SOMEBODEH left me alone to separate a group of primary kids into two, which was an epic FAIL. Kids love me, I hate kids. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?!?!

BazelNut said something todaaaay! And it got me thinking. Oh lord. :(

Okay, I have accepted the fact that its FATE and that him and I should have NOTHING to do with each other. It was a one time fall, and I shall not fall any further. The fact that I didn't go there because I couldn't, for two days straight have made it pretty obvious. It is a sign.

Why are you always there for me? Despite being in tuition? Or studying. And come on, we can't be together. EVER. Its just W R O N G okay. Meehhh, Life has a freaaaking weird idea of this okay. Yes I think you are, reeaaally good looking, and VERY nice, cheesy too sometimes, but still, This Will Not Happen :)

N, what you said to me, before you went off.

I need to say "fuck you!" for that.

xx

ECSTATIC

THIS IS SO OVERRATED.

grr.

BITCH BITCH BITCH! Go away. Go back to JB, NEVER come back. Its not MY fucking fault I''m not happy okay. YES i KNOW that there wouldn't be a "perfect" school. But its hard to concentrate on one thing when something else is bugging me. You should REALIZE that I've TRIED. I'm still TRYING. 

STOP SCREAMING AT ME WHEN WE CAN FUCKING TALK LIKE FUCKING ADULTS MOTHERFUCKINGBITCHKANINA

=.= urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Go away, Mother. I fucking HATE you. G A H.

Whatever, ultimate bitch off my mind now :)

Homygodsingaporeclasstripisinlike13dayshomygod!

I am THIS excited. :D But I'm also THIS sad that that might be the last time I'm back in JB/Singapore for a very very long time. mehh. 

Played Captain's Ball , everything from my shirt to my legs to my hands got covered in mud mud mud mud dirrrty mud! Ho' wells :D It was reaaally! fun :) Helped the little primary kids with their dance along with BazelNut™ (heeeheeee!) Enjoyed today :) Even Vivaldi was better than usual. Yay me/him :D

Traaaaalalalalala~ Its fate okay Alicia, accept that. F A T E. Nyaha. 

Okay, about the traffic light party! I don't know if I should go, or not. Saturday evening, then Sunday morning I is competing. Hmm, if I ride from like 8am till like 5pm then party from 7 till 12, sleep from 1 till 7 and ride from 8 till 12. HOLY SHIT I WILL DIE ON MONDAY. HA HA HA :D

NEXT! What should I wear? I is a yellooooowww! Yet, I am still counted as GREEN. Should I go in green and use that killer Miss Sixty top? Nyeh.

Oh whatever.

Will figure my life out tomorrow,

xx

ECSTATIC!

Its been too long and I'm lost without you.

I MET SEXY. ho'yeah :D

this sexy is as in Jacob Black with short hair sexy okay.

SERIOUSLY.

Been skipping school!

My weekends were very interesting :) Especially SUNDAY. Well, Saturday was the reason SUNDAY was like THE sunday of my life. THE best day okay. THE. T H E. HAHAHAHA =.= Gosh.

Okay, spent my weekends with cousins. And yes, unfortunately one of them is DAMN DAMN hot. SAD. We're related. Genetically, we'd have ugly kids if anything happened. Not that I was thinking about anything. HAHA. SPM is around the corner for him, and I'm like disturbing him. Gee,

ITS OKAY! Cousin has hot guy friends. Though I swore to be a nun, whatever. Nuns look, they just say they don't. I think? 

 

My nails are still the awesome black base and blue tip french manicured, and I have school tomorrow. I need the pictures for Wilayah too. Damn it. I wish; school was over. And I wish, I had trained for BK show this weekend. GAH.

so little time, so many things i could do.

xx

I'M FREAKING IN LOVE AGAIN.

Life is short, live it to the fullest - according to everyone.

I think we live for tomorrow, today :)

Pictures pictures at BK. It was very entertaining. Spent lunch/brunch with Lyss and people at the Curve. Lyss was nice enough to drag me thereee. Later on in the afternoon I went looking for my cat (wink wink Arif) with Lyss and neighbours. HA HA HA. I'm sure we had fun eh? When lyss went back I continued looking with neighbours. :D good fun good fun. Adam and I had the most amazing talk about everything/anything while the rain was pouring. Yes, he is very good looking. LOL I wonder who felt so lonelyyy! Not likely he would be reading my blog. STILL :O

Parents home-ed and they came over. Brothers were entertained by the presence of not one, but TWO guys in the house. HAHAHA. Mom was babbling about keeping my room door closed. =.= HELLO I WONT DO ANYTHING LAH AIYOOOO =.= As good looking/nice/sweet/hilarious he may be. I WILL CONTROL MYSELF. Limit limit limit must i have a limit :(    Gah! Oh well, I've more things to worry about!

Cempaka's got talent is one. What freaking instrument do I play!! I don't even have a piano at home, how how how how do i practice Alicia Key's - If I ain't got you? okay, am I even IN it? hmm!

BKECR show on the 14,15. It totally clashes with the traffic light party. And if I'm going I need to look for a YELLOW dress. Well of course I could see how much magic would be made till Saturday night. Then again, I'm still thinking about going GREEN for good lah. Its so annoying. =.=

REAL ISSUE: TP on 14th night. If I'm like competing next morning, i so should not party. Holy mommah!

16 days. Can't wait.

iwishicouldtellyounowandmakeeverythingeasierbutican't.

motherf.

itsthechase.Idonotwantaboyfieee

xx

STUPID CBL RUINING MY CHANCES OF SURRRVIVAL.

I FREAKING MISS EVERYONE LAH PLEASE.

19 days. motherf.

Class outing is like so far awayyyy!

That means me going back to JB is also so far awayyyy!

Geez, even Hanna is so near yet so far awayyyy!

Just down the road. Divided by a road, and lazyness to walk.

geeesh.

Having CBL now. Which is practically this huge-ass research paper. Gah. Am stuck with the VIDEO portion. Where is Maepea my video buddy when i need her?!?! Nyaaah! Even like, Vince says my story line is hard. Gee, I miss the BRCC & SYF teams. Holy mommah!

I really am looking forward to like going back to JB and Singapore. I have been separated from sanity for soo effing long. I am losing my mind/confidence/self-esteem/life/blood/tears/sweat/mind (didn't i just say this?)/friends. Haih life's like this, no?

Video buddy/superpea. 

I miss b-b-b-boyfriend tooo! Gawd, SYF.

GAH.. Everyone is all over the place now.

Imagine that.

ho'mygodihaven'tfiguredoutifistillwannatalktoyouornot.

jeesh!

xx

You know that thing you do when you're damn sad and depressed and feel like everything is a fuck? Where's my Ralfie?

[11/2/09 6:26:55 PM] Aly ;D: i'm not okay with this whole moving to a new place thingy

[11/2/09 6:27:03 PM] Aly ;D: i wanna go back to JB where my friends are

[11/2/09 6:27:06 PM] Aly ;D: and school in SG

[11/2/09 6:27:11 PM] Aly ;D: and graduate at 16

[11/2/09 6:27:14 PM] Aly ;D: and wake up at 4am

[11/2/09 6:27:19 PM] Aly ;D: and fool around in customs

[11/2/09 6:27:30 PM] Aly ;D: and piss off the security guards

[11/2/09 6:27:38 PM] Aly ;D: and run around CWP after school

[11/2/09 6:27:43 PM] Aly ;D: playing hide and seek,

[11/2/09 6:27:50 PM] Aly ;D: which we usually only for likw 3 mins

[11/2/09 6:27:55 PM] Aly ;D: then give up cuz we're tired

[11/2/09 6:28:06 PM] Aly ;D: and do homework at the quadrangle

[11/2/09 6:28:14 PM] Aly ;D: i wanna talk to MGY,

[11/2/09 6:28:26 PM] Aly ;D: and complain about everyone, everything and feel so much better after

[11/2/09 6:28:37 PM] Aly ;D: i wanna be a part of 2A again

[11/2/09 6:29:48 PM] Aly ;D: i wanna go nuts during english lesson with my group and hear Dominic talk about dumping being thrown everywhere, and killing syafiq in the process

[11/2/09 6:30:08 PM] Aly ;D: forcing bal to take pictures with me, hanging out with nat after school

[11/2/09 6:30:14 PM] Aly ;D: there is sooo much to miss :(

[11/2/09 6:30:30 PM] Aly ;D: and th only thing in KL that makes me happy is vivaldi and riding

[11/2/09 6:30:43 PM] Aly ;D: but how can that last ??

[11/2/09 6:30:56 PM] Aly ;D: I've lost so much self esteem and self confidence

[11/2/09 6:31:00 PM] Aly ;D: i lost my charm and everything

[11/2/09 6:31:02 PM] Aly ;D: urgh :(

[11/2/09 6:31:10 PM] Aly ;D: this. fucking. sucks.

Do you know what it feels like to miss these little things?

I miss everyone, everything about schooling in Singapore.

I miss my FRIENDS.

hey cempakans, learn the word.

No, I'm not coping well.

Yes,  I feel like dying.

Yes, that motherfuckingstupidbloodydamnassbitch is getting to me.

and so is everything else.

I can't wait to go back to JB. I wanna see mae, and crycrycry.

I can't wait for class outing in Singapore.

Am going literally crazy.

Shit, i want my life back.

xx